Mind in a Whirl: 03/2012

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Baby Ayden's Videos

Newborn

Hiccup

Play

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Time really flies!! It's just like yesterday that I was pregnant with Ayden. Now he's 1 month old. I actually secretly wish that he's quickly 1 year old or even Primary 1 soon so that he can communicate to me what he wants instead of me guessing it from his cry.. Also I can escape the boring routine life of looking after a baby. There's hardly any 'me' time at all.. Sleep is always not enough too.. Especially I used to sleep 12h a day.. Now everything's changed to a totally opposite of my previous lifestyle.. It's so tough to be a mum!! It's so tough to be a good mum!!

Things that I thought idealistically that I can do for Ayden may not be done in the real world.. No matter how a perfectionist I am, real life is always not what we expected to be. I truly have to learn to accept facts and be positive in order to press on..

My typical daily routine:
7am Feed milk and burp baby
730am Clean his mouth and body and change him
8am Pat him to sleep
9am If I'm lucky, he would have slept and I can catch a wink
10am Feed milk and burp baby
1030am Pat him to sleep
11am If I'm lucky again, I can have some 'me' time
1230pm Baby bathing time
1pm Feed milk and burp baby
130pm Play time with baby
2pm Poo time and clean him and change him
230pm Pat him to sleep
3pm My nap time with baby
4pm Feed milk and burp baby
430pm Change him
5pm Pat him to sleep
6pm My wash up time
7pm Feed milk and burp baby
730pm Clean his body and change him
8pm Poo time and clean him and change him
830pm Play time with daddy
10pm Feed milk and burp baby
1030pm Pat him to sleep
11am Sleep with baby
1am Feed milk and burp baby
130am Pat him to sleep
2am Sleep with baby
4am Feed milk and burp baby
430am Pat him to sleep
5am Sleep with baby
7am Repeat cycle

These are just typical things I do everyday.. It's always challenging cos it may not go through the same procedure or timing.. Especially when he refuses to sleep. I lose every of my own time..

Now I seriously reckoned that mothers are always the best!! This can never change! And I start to love my mum more.. I hope Baby Ayden grows up to appreciate and love me too..

Photo gallery:

Baby Ayden's different facial expression

Baby Ayden's sleeping position

Baby Ayden's happy times

Baby Ayden's ringo hair (antenna hair or stick out hair.. Just like Beeie and Sugie boy if you remember)

Baby Ayden's footprint and handprint..

Baby Ayden's tiny feet

Wriggly wormie Ayden

Baby Ayden's happy smile

Baby Ayden's stroller

Baby Ayden's bee toy

Baby Ayden's full month celebration card

Baby Ayden's full month bath

Baby Ayden's booger

Baby Ayden's banana head protector

Baby Ayden and Sugie Boy in the living room.. Ayden is the apple of my eye and Sugie is the orange.. Keke..

Sugie is actually quite pitiful nowadays cos the attention is all on Ayden.. I feel bad that I can't sayang him that much since I have to handle the baby most of the time.. I wouldn't wanna dirty the baby and pass any germs to him.. I feel quite guilty towards Sugie especially when I baby talk to Ayden or when I bathe Ayden.. It all reminds me when Sugie is still a baby and that's exactly how I handle him.. Just like Ayden now.. Now he lost all my attention and I still blame him for scaring the baby with his bark.. This makes me feel I should just have 1 kid to provide undivided attention.. When there's two, this is what happen.. And it's quite sad that Sugie is now more attached to my helper than me as if she's the mum and I'm just a nobody.. (since she takes care of Sugie now) This makes me wonder if Ayden will be like this in future if my helper was to take care of him.. I don't like this feeling that my son is attached to someone else.. I hope this will not happen..

Baby Ayden with granny doing tummy time

Baby Ayden's happy family

Baby Ayden with mummy

Baby Ayden with aunties

Baby Ayden's outfit (Ralph Lauren) during baby shower

Baby Ayden's sleepy look throughout the baby shower

Finally, some hopefully, still chio picture of me after being a mum..

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Giving Birth to Baby Ayden

The contractions began on 13 February 2012. It was bearable. Started around after midnight. If you want me to describe the feeling, it's just like suffering from very bad constipation. Tummy ache and you can't get it out. Or diarrhea yet you can't find a toilet and you have to bear with it. That's the feeling. Well, I didn't know until I went to the hospital and they told me they are contractions. But my cervix wasn't open yet so they sent me home after some routine checks.

Doctor wanted to induce labour so that I can have a valentine baby. But I thought I wanna keep things natural, so I went back home. Things got more tense following that. The contractions got stronger day by day and I wasn't sure if I was in labour. I kept referring to this chart:

And timing my contractions after googling about labour.. Apparently it wasn't that accurate. Can't really tell. I thought I was in the early phase as of the chart above, but later on the timing wasn't showing that. Then I wonder whether was it Braxton Hicks.. This went on till 15 February 2012 and I thought I need confirmation again. So I went to the hospital early in the morning. Doctor said that it's better that I get admitted instead of going in and out the hospital with false alarm. Anyway he felt that I may go into true labour anytime soon. He also suggested that he would induce labour that night to prevent baby from distress since the contractions had started..

On 15 February 2012, at around 10pm, I was induced.. The pain at that time was still as of Face 1 of the chart above.. The pain got more intense around past 2am.. Hence Face 2 was my expression then. The real pain stepped in at 4am.. My expression was now at Face 3.. I was kicking mad!! Moaning for help!! Used the laughing gas for pain relief.. Unsuccessful as it only relieves pain during that contraction and I have to breathe so many times.. By then, I thought I'm going to give birth.. So I asked the nurse to check my cervix opening.. Guess what?! It only opened 2 to 3cm as of early phase, 1st stage!! I gave up being a hero (thought I can survive without epidural..)

Next moment, I asked for epidural.. I thought I could have it immediately. God knows it has to be administered by a local anesthetic practioner.. And I have to wait for another 30min!! By then the pain was unbearable!! I was going into a hysterical stage due to over usage of the laughing gas.. By the time the doctor came, I didn't even know what they were doing to me! I only knew I'm receiving epidural.. That's all.. After that, the side effects from the epidural set in and I was shivering and puking like mad.. The nauseous can be subdued by injection.. But the shivering was the worst feeling I've ever felt.. I can't control at all.. When I finally regain conscious from the gas, it was already 6am.. Though drowsy, I can still see nurses coming in to check on me..

By the time my cervix was fully opened, it was about 10am.. Imagine without epidural, I'll have to withstand that terrible pain for 12h!! Fine! Who cares about being a hero?! Yap! I'm a zero!! At about 11 plus am, Ayden was out.. Spare the pushing details as its always the same as what you see on tv.. Husband giving the support, wife pushing as hard as possible, minus the yelling..

Soon, presenting..
Baby Ayden!!

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Miscellaneous Boring Updates

Some updates which I've been wanting to post since a long long time but couldn't find time to do.. So here goes..

Sugie did something wrong and immediately ran far away from me and stayed there as if he was being punished.